Today I learned...

how it feels to be back in Chicago. I'll admit, I've missed it. Now bring it on.

Today I learned...

that I am okay. I think. I have been giving myself such a hard time lately, and I think that today something clicked, and now I at least understand why. Or part of the why. Well, let's put it this way, just to get it out in the open where it belongs. I am okay because I am living. I am okay because I am making choices and decisions. I am okay because even if I think I am the worst person on the face of the planet that makes the worst decisions on the face of the planet, I am still just staying alive. I am making that conscious decision, and living my life is so much better than the alternative. I think. This probably comes off as really awful and creepy and like I am some crazy person. But I don't think I am; because I am starting to accept myself for who I am and there is nothing more exciting or worthwhile to me. I've let some things go that I never thought I would be able to. I've followed through with things I never thought I could. I feel as though I have courage to live my life and be who I am, and be okay with both of those things.

Also, T.SWIFT gets me.

Today I learned...

your real friends will know your worth, your real friends will trust your judgement, your real friends will never do anything that hurts you or your feelings.

Today I learned...

Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter IS A FANTASTIC MOVIE.

I am going to miss living here.
I am going to miss my friends.

Today I learned...

everything is new, every day is new, things are happening and they'll never stop.

Today I learned...

how to put myself on the path to happiness. I've never felt so hopeful for something to happen as I felt while conversing with my mother tonight. I need to hang onto that feeling, that hope, for dear life.

Today I learned...

... how contrasting moments seem to nearly cancel each other out. But it's more than that... there's still always something thats left over, left behind. In the end, I just hope that life is giving me what I need.

Today I learned...

that my heart might drop out of my chest if things were different. I am so invested, when there is no real, physical, tangible rhyme or reason to it.

Today I learned...

Falling asleep is cool.

Today I learned...

LOVE STINKS, YEAH, YEAH.

Today I learned...

Morning classes are overrated. Wisconsin is better.

Today I learned...

I LIKE YOU.

Today I learned...

I can bounce back from anything.

Today I learned...

Nothing in particular. I need to get more done. It's snowing a bunch. I have nowhere to go, really, but I'm worried about driving at the same time. I had strange dreams. Kyle XY is an okay show. I'm excited to go back to WI tomorrow night. I have a lot of strange feelings.

Today I learned...

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING AT ALL. How sad is that, in a business of photography class?

Today I learned...

how to accomplish a lot in an otherwise blah-ze day.

Today I learned...

how it feels to go back to reality. Hint: Not great.

Today I learned...

City. And. Colour.
What a fantastic group. If I could marry anyone based on talent and looks alone, it would be Mr. Green. Such a beautiful voice and a beautiful man.

The Low Anthem did some of the most incredible things that I've ever seen done at a show. Cell Phone Crickets - so cool.

Today I learned...

how great it feels to be home, and how healing that feeling can be.

I have a crush. Yikes.

Today I learned...

Sometimes you just need to go home.

Today I learned...

how bittersweet accomplishments can be.

Today I learned...

How quickly the mighty fall.
How quickly friends turn their backs.
How quickly a few words can turn your world upside down.
How quickly you realize that real, true friends are the most valuable things that you'll never truly possess... but that you'll always have.
How terrifying The Lady In Black is. Rad.

Today I learned...

Everything is alright.

Today I learned...

that I need to learn how to cheer myself up. There are too many things going well for me to give up now.

Today I learned...

Anticipation. More anticipation. I am annoyed. I have a headache. I feel sick.

Today I learned...

how to have the worst headache imaginable.

Today I learned...

how it felt to witness the ending of an era. Even if I never cared for it's aesthetics, I appreciated it like no other.

Today I learned...

how to have fun with my friends and do what I love effectively at the same time.

Today I learned...

the true feeling of anticipation that comes with projects that you believe in and love.

Today I learned...

Anticipation. Just get this thing released already.
Everyone wants something, all of the time.

Today I learned...

Friends are golden.

Today I learned...

how dreadful and rewarding going to school can be.

Today I learned...

something that I used to know.

Today I learned...

how much of a bummer missing out on something can be.

Today I learned...

Accomplishments feel great.

Today I learned...

how great it feels to come home to Kinglsey.

Today I learned...

to never go to Tyler's again if I want to remain sober. Oops.

Today I learned...

not much at all, but hanging with friends is fun!

Today I learned...

how sometimes things change and stay the same all at once.
how it feels to meet someone a second time.
how it feels to lose $20 and then not really to have lost it at all.

Today I learned...

how cold the Borg Ward is, and how fun it is to take promos of great-looking people.

Today I learned...

about a lot of great new musicians: William Earle Beal (sp?) and Wild Belle being two of my favorites. Oh, and Schubas needs to get their set-up time limit together.

Today I learned...

what a rave at the Metro looks and sounds like. Weird.

Today I learned...

what walking around Chicago during the first snow of the year feels likes.
how it feels to almost pass out in a sold-out Lincoln Hall.
what it feels like to go sideways down the highway and live to tell the tale.

Today I learned...

what it feels like to have my heart and stomach drop to my feet. Metaphorically, of course, but I've never felt that because of a stupid silly text from someone ever before. I hate that it affected me so much. I. Hate. That. I was so ready to be done with that heightened emotional state of mind that I used to be in 24/7. But it took me much less time to calm down than it normally would, so I was proud of myself for that. I just need to think and breathe.

When someone matters so much to you and then suddenly gets you out of their life and won't allow you back in, it's something that takes a ton of time to get over. It doesn't just go away, but when it fades, it usually gets easier to keep it gone.
But with a simple text. Two words. "Hey Krystal." That's all. And my world came crashing down for a good half an hour.

But screw that. He sucks.

Today I learned...

The Schaumburg Post Office is pretty darn lame and only helpful when forced to be.

Today I learned...

This is so real. It's happening.

Today I learned...

how to lose a day to sleep.

Today I learned...

how great it feels to see and old friend, and how... interesting it is to see some others. New friends rock, too.

Today I learned...

a lot about my friends.

Today I learned...

"You... are... so... confused." - Cartel

Today I learned...

that when you don't get enough sleep, life is cruel.

Also, my cat is the best little puttin ever.

Today I learned...

that when you get enough sleep, life doesn't seem as hectic and mean.

Today I learned...

that I am excited to become a real-life-living-breathing-adult.

Today I learned...

Fondy friends rock.

Today I learned...

what the last day of 2011 feels like. I am indifferent, upset, excited, and everything else.