Today I learned...

Instead of learning something, I would like to share my day. Maybe by the end of typing it out, I'll be able to discern what I learned out of the jumble of what happened.

Yesterday, I saw Paranormal Activity 3. Holy gosh, oh man, eek, freaked the f out. I love Kentucky accents, but I don't think they like me. I like when people listen to their own music. I like when someone I respect musically is critical of someone else's work with detailed reason. (That's what you get, jerk.) I like being sneaky. I am terrified of driving on mountains, but I do just fine. I love German Shepherds. The view is worth it. So is the conversation. I don't like saying goodnight. But I like making up my mind. Shooting stars and constellations are my second favorite thing at this point in time. And then it happens and it's not what I expect, but not something I can explain either. In that moment, everything is chaotic and everything is understood. And then the moment ends, but not before it lingers. I am too late.

Today, I loved and I adventured. I did things I didn't think I would, and didn't do things I thought I could. The waterfall is my second favorite thing within five miles of where I stood at that moment. Now if only I could follow through; hook, line, and sinker - with doubt setting in. I made all the right choices at all the right times, and all the wrong choices at all the right times. I can't explain the feeling I have when I'm here. I can't believe the calm. You make me so angry, but I'm staying so calm. I hear everything I've experienced and want to be the exception, not the rule; although I know clearly where I stand, I feel as though I can be that person, even when I am so aware that I am not. And that's the effect you have on me. And this is how we work. Take, take, take, give, take. Give, take, give, give, take. No matter how you look, it is skewed, and it lies perfectly. And even when it's interrupted, I can smile. I know, I do, I understand. Today I am here, tomorrow I am not, but you won't take that chance. I know, I do, you love, and I am in love, helplessly, if it is possible to be in love with different feelings.

Today I learned how to scare myself into staying awake while driving through torrential rain and lightening.