Today I learned...

I haven't changed a bit, but my memory is foggy. I make such awful decisions sometimes.

Only time will tell.

Today I learned...

I love my family.
I love my friends, whether they're right in front of me or not.

Today I learned...

Compliments rock. I love dressing up. Those are two separate situations.

Today I learned...

I was born a few months too late. Getting to the point of exhaustion.

Today I learned...

that I am really good at this, and I could enjoy it for a really long time.

Stay live is so incredible.


The Noise Tour was such a rad experience.

Today I learned...

that some people are the absolute worst, and some people are the absolute best.

Today I learned...

I don't think I could change if I tried.

Today I learned...

Instead of learning something, I would like to share my day. Maybe by the end of typing it out, I'll be able to discern what I learned out of the jumble of what happened.

Yesterday, I saw Paranormal Activity 3. Holy gosh, oh man, eek, freaked the f out. I love Kentucky accents, but I don't think they like me. I like when people listen to their own music. I like when someone I respect musically is critical of someone else's work with detailed reason. (That's what you get, jerk.) I like being sneaky. I am terrified of driving on mountains, but I do just fine. I love German Shepherds. The view is worth it. So is the conversation. I don't like saying goodnight. But I like making up my mind. Shooting stars and constellations are my second favorite thing at this point in time. And then it happens and it's not what I expect, but not something I can explain either. In that moment, everything is chaotic and everything is understood. And then the moment ends, but not before it lingers. I am too late.

Today, I loved and I adventured. I did things I didn't think I would, and didn't do things I thought I could. The waterfall is my second favorite thing within five miles of where I stood at that moment. Now if only I could follow through; hook, line, and sinker - with doubt setting in. I made all the right choices at all the right times, and all the wrong choices at all the right times. I can't explain the feeling I have when I'm here. I can't believe the calm. You make me so angry, but I'm staying so calm. I hear everything I've experienced and want to be the exception, not the rule; although I know clearly where I stand, I feel as though I can be that person, even when I am so aware that I am not. And that's the effect you have on me. And this is how we work. Take, take, take, give, take. Give, take, give, give, take. No matter how you look, it is skewed, and it lies perfectly. And even when it's interrupted, I can smile. I know, I do, I understand. Today I am here, tomorrow I am not, but you won't take that chance. I know, I do, you love, and I am in love, helplessly, if it is possible to be in love with different feelings.

Today I learned how to scare myself into staying awake while driving through torrential rain and lightening. 

Today I learned...

the drive to Kentucky gets easier every time I drive it. Indiana can be beautiful. Kentucky always was beautiful, but it was more beautiful today. I get weak in the knees when I think about seeing someone who has broken my heart a million times without knowing it, even after I say it out loud. I like and love him. I don't know if I want to, and it's so hot and cold. I like and love scary movies, but there are reasons for that. I like the way I feel when I'm here.

Today I learned...

a great deal of things.

I have the most incredible parents, and they give me hope that love still exists and can stay strong through years of change. There are nice people in the world, and there are still people who can surprise me with kindness. Every nice boy that I meet has a girlfriend or turns out to not be nice at all. Shooting bigger-name shows is okay. Some of my friends are really fantastic. The rest of them are just straying from the path a little bit. I want to keep things going. I want to make more of an effort. I am happy. I am motivated. I am positive. I've dealt with so much negativity in my life, and now I feel like it's time to have a balance of true happiness. Wherever that thinking leads me is where I will go. For the first time in my life I have no clue what I want but I know exactly where I'm going.

Today I learned...

that I should probably learn to say no, and give myself a chance to catch up on my own projects before taking more on.

Today I learned...

that I like being busy, and I like keeping up on things. I should work on that a little more.

Today I learned...

BILLY ZANE IS AWESOME.
I knew that already.
He's such a beautiful human being, and I got to take his picture. Best. Day. Ever.

Sorry for sounding like a fangirl.

Today I learned...

I'm bad at being sick. The worst. I hate it. It sucks. I can't get anything done this way.

I'm excited for the next chapter in my life.

Today I learned...

I've got it. I need to feel better to keep getting it, though. I'm worth it.

Today I learned...

How much of an ass that an ex-boyfriend can be.
Idiot.
Loser.
Jerk.
Idiot.


I know who my real friends are.

Karma.

Crushes.

Today I learned...

I don't know if I'm ready for this. I haven't prepared. Tomorrow is on my mind.

On the contrary, I am so ready for this.

Today I learned...

How to start filling a void.

Today I learned...

I still care, and it sucks so bad.

Today I learned...

I still got that girly-girl trait in me.
It feels great to get all dolled up.

Today I learned...

To be gutsy. Or at least that I should start trying harder to be.

Today I learned...

that I love myself. I truly do. It's so easy sometimes.

Today I learned...

Life > time.

Today I learned...

This is what I'm built for. Shooting shows is the only thing that makes me really, truly happy.

Oh, that and coming home to Kingsley every day.

My family is pretty cool, too.

Today I learned...

Dreams say the darndest things.

Today I learned...

It just ain't gonna work out.

Today I learned...

Sometimes, people change.
Sometimes, I need to stand up for myself.
Sometimes, I need to be okay with being jealous.
Sometimes, I need to allow myself to calm down.
Sometimes, I need to just breathe.

Today I learned...

Can't watch Grave Encounters by myself.
Can't watch Rango without getting sad when he's alone and being picked on.
Can't stand the first 19 minutes of James and the Giant Peach.

Can't deal with being without someone much longer. I'm a little sad that I don't have someone to cuddle with. I'm more than a little sad that I don't have someone to fall in love with. Trying to be patient. Trying to roll with the punches. Wish me luck.

Today I learned...

I can get the Packer games on cable, in hi-def! I am more excited about football this year than I have been since I can remember. (TOUCHDOWWWWWWN!!!)
I miss Papa and Mama.
I miss Grandma and Grandpa. And the rest of my extended family.
My Kingsley is the love of my life.
I want to walk forever.
I want to buy tickets to Europe.
I'm going to miss my friends that graduated, but honestly, I don't think I'll have time to let them know. That makes me so terribly sad.
I hope things work out.

Today I learned...

about some awesome bands. And I got to take pictures of them. What an incredible opportunity I find myself with.

I need to be less shy.
I'll work on it.